Terry Thomas

Driving 101

Driving 101, 1


Driving to me now days at my age is considered an art. I mean it; I try to drive each and every day with caution, with considerations but most importantly I drive defensively. Let’s face it if we are not masters at the latter we will sure enough be leaking red someday.


I have pretty much done it all and I like most of the more mature drivers think that I have seen it all.


Boom boxes, foot long sandwiches, make up, changing of clothes, changing of drivers, cell phones, nose picking, mooning, sign language, firearms, nudity, un restrained children, no head lamps, no tail lamps, no blinkers, hood tide down with a diaper, no window, no seat belt and most important no intelligence.


After all of these years of seeing it all the wife and I were coming back into phoenix by way of Gonzales Pass. As we made are descend into the valley I notice two men riding motorcycles. It was cool out but still a very nice day to be as free as the wind on ones motorcycle.


The rider riding drag, or in the rear was kind of hunched over and since he had on a short sleeve shirt the wife and I who also ride motorcycles figured he was trying to avoid the cool wind somewhat.


We were wrong, nothing that understandable. Here is a guy traveling sixty miles per hour on a motor cycle who was hunkered down somewhat and as we passed we saw him trying to light a cigarette with a hand held lighter.


Ok I admit that I have the nicotine habit my self, I don’t smoke, did when I was young but I have since graduated to the skillful art of chewing. Chewing is something that takes time to master and requires constant attention.


The first time I attempted it on my motor cycle my wife who was riding drag had a few choice words for me. Then there was the one time when we stopped at a traffic light I finally had a chance to rid myself of the juices. Man that felt good, the fact that I forgot to raise my face shield however wasn’t so good.


But this guy is traveling Sixty miles per hour on something with two wheels, no doors or seat belt and only one hand on the handle bars, a cigarette flapping left to right and a lighter shooting sparks.


If ever there was a poster child for stupid, this ole boy’s picture has to be on the cover. I don’t think even Houdini could have lit that cigarette.

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